Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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