When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize