She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize