oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize