I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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