Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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