im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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