i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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