I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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