do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize