Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize