it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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