he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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