I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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