Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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