dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize