she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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