I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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