Sry I called you an 8
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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