Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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