Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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