I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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