Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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