is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize