Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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