Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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