and she was petting her beer can
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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