Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This is my gift to your gina
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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