I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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