he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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