i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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