Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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