I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
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I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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