i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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