the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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