so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize