I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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