I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize