I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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