dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Drunk is not a location!
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