but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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