I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I did not marry a roomba.
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