why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize