you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize