It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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