She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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