my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We have started to decorate penises.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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