After last night, I could never be a politician.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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