If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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