This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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